- MLB Opening Day: Boston Red Sox v. Baltimore Orioles -- NESN, Monday, 3 p.m.
So what if the Red Sox are opening in Baltimore? It's still Opening Day, which for all intents and purposes should have always stood supreme over Groundhog Day as the unofficial first hope of spring.
Some storylines for this year's Sox team: Will they be able to sustain the success from last year, when they pretty much went wire-to-wire as division champs? Will Xander Boegarts make a splash? And can Grady Sizemore make it through today's third inning without shattering into a million pieces?
- Gruden's QB Camp: Johnny Manziel -- ESPN, Thursday, 9 p.m.
The NFL Draft is an excruciatingly boring process, culminating in the longest, worst weekend in all of sports. The only part of the entire thing that's worth watching is former coach-turned-hilarious-caricature-of-an-analyst Jon Gruden and his QB Camp series, where he sits down with the major quarterback prospects of each year's drafts.
A tip: When he says, "This guy," he could be referring to anybody. Literally anybody.
- Chopped Canada -- Food Network, Thursday, 9 p.m.
Why does there need to be a Canadian version of Chopped?
Do chefs up there measure ingredients with some kooky system that makes complete mathematical sense and that is completely foreign to us? Do the best ones all work at Tim Horton's?
Or is the biggest difference when they get hurt on the job, they have a publicly funded national health-care system that's more effective at getting them better than ours?
- Game of Thrones -- HBO, Sunday, 9 p.m.
DUM ... dum ... dumdumDUM ... dum ... dumDUMdummmm ... dum, du-du-DUM, dum, du-du-DUM, dum-dum.
Oh man, is it gonna be good.
- Silicon Valley -- HBO, Sunday, 10 p.m.
Mike Judge, the mind behind the crude Beavis and Butthead and the all-too-true Office Space, returns to TV with Silicon Valley, a send-up of the West Coast tech startup culture. Martin Starr (Bill from Freaks and Geeks) is in it, which basically makes it a must-watch.
- Veep -- HBO, Sunday, 10:30 p.m.
Forget House of Cards (which loves to think it's better than it is) or Scandal (which knows it's somehow better than it ever should be). Veep should be your go-to political show, if only for its hilariously profane insults.
Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter and Tout @sweetestpete.