- Bates Motel -- A&E, Monday, 9 p.m.
Bates Motel, the surprisingly well-received prequel series to Psycho, returns to A&E (of all places) tonight.
When are they going to get to the part where he's a psycho?
- Purple Rain -- Palladia, Monday, 9 p.m.
Is Purple Rain a "good" movie? That might be a stretch.
It does feature some horrible acting by Prince, as well as a relatively offensive scene where Morris Day throws a woman into a dumpster and it's played for laughs.
But man is that music good. Sure, the performances are mimed, but there isn't much better than the sight of Prince flopping around on stage wailing "The Beautiful Ones."
Or "Darling Nikki."
Or "Let's Go Crazy."
Yes, Purple Rain is the greatest album of all time.
And Appetite For Destruction.
... That's it.
- Private Lives of Nashville Wives -- TNT, Monday, 10 p.m.
Not only does TNT know drama -- it also knows how to rhyme!
- Mind Games -- ABC, Tuesday, 10 p.m.
When you see a TV pilot that stars Christian Slater, you know it's going to succeed. Remember how great Breaking In, The Forgotten and My Own Worst Enemy were?
- Ali G: Rezurection -- FXX, Wednesday, 10:30 p.m.
Da Ali G Show, the origin of the classic Sacha Baron Cohen characters Ali G and Borat, is back. Sort of.
HBO aired 12 episodes of the series in 2003 and 2004. But six other episodes had previously aired in England on Channel 4 in 2000. FXX has revived those episodes, with Baron Cohen providing brand-new intros for each.
It still holds up, even "My wife!"
- True Detective -- HBO, Sunday, 9 p.m.
The mystery of True Detective will come to a close this Sunday, hopefully answering many questions for rabid viewers.
Who committed the Dora Lange murder? Is it the same person as the Yellow King? Will we finally figure out what conditioner Rust Cohle uses for his beard?
- Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey -- Fox, Sunday, 9 p.m.
Carl Sagan's Cosmos: A Personal Voyage was a massive hit in the early 1980s, because of its ahead-of-its-time special effects in spite of its silly Spaceship of the Imagination.
Executive producer Seth MacFarlane and his buckets of money brought it back for a reboot, with grown-up Lando Calrissian doppelganger Neil deGrasse Tyson taking Sagan's role.
He should be a knowledgeable presence, but wouldn't we rather just have Stewie Griffin hosting?
Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter and Tout @sweetestpete.