- Dallas -- TNT, Monday, 9 p.m.
J.R. Ewing may be gone due to the real-life death of absolute legend Larry Hagman, but Dallas is still back for a third season. Expect another season of lust, back-stabbing and super-exciting land deals.
- The Bachelor -- ABC, Monday-Tuesday, 8 p.m.
It's Hometown week on The Bachelor, which almost always means drama because normal family members never know how to deal with this show's ridiculous premise.
And then Tuesday it's Overnight Dates time, featuring the world's most awkward euphemism for premarital sex: The Fantasy Suite.
- Late Night with Seth Meyers -- NBC, Wednesday, 12:35 a.m.
The SNL alum's new talk show actually starts on Monday, but Kanye West will be one of the guests late on Tuesday night, and history has proven that Kanye's antics are worth watching on any show that doesn't feature a Kardashian.
- Survivor: Cagayan -- CBS, Wednesday, 8 p.m.
The new season (the 28th!) of Survivor starts this week, and here's the inevitable twist: The teams will be split up by dominant characteristic, which means there will be a "Brains" team, a "Brawn" team, and a "Beauty" team.
What happens if you're all three, a la bearded Survivor legend Rupert Boneham?
- Mixology -- ABC, Wednesday, 9:30 p.m.
ABC's new sitcom Mixology sounds ambitious, or as ambitious as an ABC sitcom could be.
The series takes place over the course of one night at a bar, and each episode follows two of the characters as they randomly meet the other ones throughout the night.
Not really sure how it's going to work, but I'd imagine there's a drinking game somewhere to go along with it.
- The Americans -- FX, Wednesday, 10 p.m.
One of the best shows of last year returns, as undercover Soviet agents Elizabeth (Keri Russell) and Philip Jennings (Matthew Rhys) continue to do covert spy stuff and wear a bunch of cool wigs.
- 86th Academy Awards -- ABC, Sunday, 8:30 p.m.
Seth MacFarlane is out as the host of the Oscars after his one-term stint where he angered people for making the jokes everyone expected him to make.
Ellen DeGeneres takes his place, having previously hosted the Oscars to great acclaim in 2006.
George Clooney isn't nominated for any awards, but he likely will still be the butt of many jokes about his good looks and passion for women half his age.
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