Ryan Seacrest, Keith Urban, Jennifer Lopez and Harry Connick Jr. on American Idol 2014.
Ryan Seacrest, Keith Urban, Jennifer Lopez and Harry Connick Jr. on American Idol 2014.

Ninja Warrior: U.S.A. vs. Japan -- NBC, Monday, 8 p.m.

... What?


Chozen -- FX, Monday, 10:30 p.m.

FX's new cartoon comedy (which follows Archer on the prime-time schedule) is about Chozen (voice of SNL's Bobby Moynihan), a gay white rapper just released from prison after being framed by a rival voiced by Method Man.

It's produced by Eastbound and Down's Danny McBride, so it will probably be somewhat offensive.

American Idol -- Fox, Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Jennifer Lopez returns as an Idol judge, joined by famed mop-top country star Keith Urban and newcomer Harry Connick Jr.

Whoever wins this season will be lucky to have Connick Jr. as a mentor, if only because he or she will learn how to make Christmas albums like nobody's business.

Modern Family -- ABC, Wednesday, 9 p.m.

Anyone ever watch this show? It's hilarious!

19th Annual Critics' Choice Movie Awards -- The CW, Thursday, 8 p.m.

The Broadcast Film Critics Association presents these awards each year, and somehow there's very rarely a disastrous pick.

Of course, these are the same people who chose former host of the schlocky dating show The Fifth Wheel Aisha Tyler to preside over the ceremony, so who knows.


The Bachelor: Bachelor Love Stories -- ABC, Sunday, 8 p.m.

This feel-good special will check back in on all the couples from The Bachelor/The Bachelorette that made it and are happy. So what's that, like three of them?

There should just be a Bachelor channel. Seriously, Comcast can throw it in the 300s and air marathons of all 18 seasons. It would be like that SoapNet channel ... which just went off the air.

The Following -- Fox, Sunday, 10:30 p.m.

The gruesome serial killer TV series seems primed for a massive second-season drop-off and possible cancellation.

We're all hoping, anyway.

Sherlock -- PBS, Sunday, 10 p.m.

Did Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch -- who ruled 2013) survive his seemingly suicidal plunge at the end of season 2?

Well, the show is called Sherlock.

Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter and Tout @sweetestpete.