The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco -- Comedy Central, Monday, 10 p.m.
The Comedy Central Roasts are always good for a bunch of crude laughs, as long as your skin is as thick as the person being roasted.
That lucky celebrity this time is actor / director / writer / student / teacher / non-sleeper / guy with too many titles James Franco. Roasters include Aziz Ansari, Jonah Hill, Sarah Silverman and expert roaster Jeff Ross to go along with roastmaster Seth Rogen. Expect a lot of cracks about Franco's teenage Spring Breakers costars, his arty pretentiousness and his short stories nobody reads.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- FXX, Wednesday, 10 p.m.
Fox is adding a lot of channels. It already started airing Fox Sports 1 much to nobody's excitement and it will soon launch FXX, a comedy-dominated network expected to replace Fox Soccer.
In addition to airing reruns of shows like Parks and Recreation and Arrested Development, FXX will also air current series like It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Sunny will premiere its ninth season on Wednesday. This season there will apparently be an episode written by Game of Thrones creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss where Charlie gets progressively smarter, a la Flowers for Algernon.
Even in its ninth season, it's still Sunny -- and funny -- in Philadelphia. Futurama -- Comedy Central, Wednesday, 10 p.m.
Yes, Futurama's been canceled 15 times already, but this will actually be the last episode ever. I swear, really.
OK, honestly, probably not.
New England Patriots vs. Buffalo Bills -- CBS, Sunday, 1 p.m.
Football season is back, and the Patriots look primed for another first-place finish AFC East. Tom Brady could lose his right hand via shark bite and the Patriots would still finish in front of the three other teams in their pathetic division.
Look who's likely starting for the Bills at quarterback: the immortal Jeff Tuel, he of the 4-22 college record. The Patriots chose Tim Tebow over him, believing in Tebow Time more than in Tuel Time.
It will take all of 5 minutes of watching Danny Amendola play for fans to forget about Wes Welker (insert injury-prone joke here).
Boardwalk Empire -- HBO, Sunday, 9 p.m.
HBO's Prohibition-era crime epic enters its fourth season on Sunday, which means it's time for some recognizable B-level movie actors to join the cast in roles who will get killed off by the end of the season.
Ron Livingston plays a wealthy businessman who probably drinks, because all his characters drink. Jeffrey Wright plays Valentin Narcisse, a doctor with an antagonistic mustache, because all his characters have antagonistic mustaches.
Ray Donovan -- Showtime, Sunday, 10 p.m.
This show's still on?
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