When it comes to picking up guys we've all seen the magazine covers in grocery store check out lines -- "50 Flirting Tips," "How to Impress a Guy," "What Makes Men Fall in Love," "What Guys Think," and the list goes on and on.
Ladies, have you ever asked your man or man-friends if there's any truth behind the Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and Glamour mags? Does flipping your hair to the right, ordering a certain drink at the bar or wearing that skin-tight dress make him go goo-goo-gah-gah for you, get down on one knee and live that happily-ever-after lifestyle? They make it sound so simple.
Needless to say, I turned to my three best men; My Jersey boy A.J., Andrew from Florida, and my hometown best friend, Jared. With an East Coast-wide perspective, I thought these guys might be able to fill in the blanks for the oblivious girl in all of us.
All three of them said that there's a fine line between looking good and showing off your goods. While some degree of physical attraction is a must, don't treat your bodies like a well-seasoned piece of meat, ladies! Don't be that marinated steak or BBQ chicken. Have respect for yourself and men will have respect for you. Flaunting your goods leaves little to a man's imagination and makes them wonder where you've been and who you've been with.
A.J., Andrew and Jared all said that girls seeking out attention are automatic turn-offs. If you're the drunken girl slamming down shots of whisky at the bar, slurring your words into
Andrew said that a girl who is seen hanging around a pack of guys is an automatic no. Why would a guy want to deal with the "big brother" or "he's just a friend" baggage from the get go? Leave the guys at home and make it a girls-night out. Cursing and smoking cigarettes can also be added to this list of major yucks and no-no's.
So what do these strapping young men in their early and mid-20s look for? Confidence! All three of these guys answered that confidence and eye contact are the No. 1 and No. 2 qualities that they look for in a woman. Smiling, laughing and talking one-on-one in social situations add a level of personal and sincere interest. Also, if a guy offers you a shot or a drink, please only accept it if you're into him! Don't shoot it, then boot it.
Jared said that he likes a girl to show him when she's interested. Don't be that creepy girl in the corner that just stares. He said that he appreciates it when he is approached by a woman who stirs up a conversation with confidence and humor on her side. If all goes well from there, making physical contact when talking, such as brushing his arm or touching his shoulder, shows flirtatiousness but in a conservative way.
If you can dance, bust a move and dance like nobody's watching. Guys love to see a confident lady on the dance floor. If you can't dance, I beg you to remain a wallflower. Maybe a Red Box or YouTube "Darron's Dance Moves" date night is in store before hitting the dance floor.
A.J. said being you from day one is one of the most important qualities to him. Getting into the dating stages with someone, only to find out that the person you thought they were a floozy, is simple female trickery. He said similar humor levels and a balance in conversation are also key elements. A girl who is all about herself belongs by herself. A girl who can handle her man and his friends is often a keeper.
For a female, I would say that I'm fairly straight-forward, easy going, and tell it like it is. While I understand that in a female's world there are many levels of maintenance and mood swings, there was one resonating comment that stuck with me when I was catching up with my friends, "Guys are simple. Don't try to complicate them."