Under the Dome -- CBS, Monday, 10 p.m.
How had nobody but those two lovestruck teenagers thought to go to the center of the dome? The dunces of Chester's Mill have been trapped inside for weeks -- you'd figure at least someone would've happened upon Mini-Dome, even though it was covered with leaves in an expert fifth-grade hiding spot.
Big Jim lost some of his grip on the town when Ollie (the snaggletooth with the well water) seized his propane, so he took a bottle of hard stuff to the face and lit a guy on fire. As Homer Simpson once said, "Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
CMA: Country's Night to Rock -- ABC, Monday, 8 p.m.
Does any other genre of music have more big stars right now than country?
Here's the lineup for CMA: Country's Night to Rock, a TV special filmed at June's CMA Music Festival: Jason Aldean, Kelly Clarkson, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, Tim Mcgraw, Eric Church, Zac Brown Band, Sheryl Crow. That's about half of them.
Also, Kid Rock and Lenny Kravitz are on the bill. Are they marketing themselves as country artists these days? "It Ain't Over 'til It's Over" isn't much of a country song, and "Bawitdaba" isn't even really a song.
Owner's Manual -- AMC, Thursday, 10 p.m.
This new series on AMC will attempt to answer the age-old question of masculinity: Do you really have to read that stupid instruction manual?
Each episode, hosts Ed Sanders and Marcus Hunt will tackle a different piece of powerful machinery or technology that they have to master. The first episode is a stunt plane -- good luck with that.
The catch is that one of the hosts will read the object's manual, while the other will just rely on his instincts. This show may lead to the death of owner's manuals ... but it will probably just lead to an actual death.
Good Burger -- ABC Family, Friday, 9 p.m.
I want to apologize to every parent out there who was forced to watch Good Burger with their kid in the summer of 1997. We all thought it was funny when Kel Mitchell squealed non-sequiturs and stuck French fries up his nose.
But it wasn't. Like, not even close. The great Abe Vigoda -- who's still alive -- deserved better.
If you want to relive your childhood (or your child's childhood) but you can't watch at 9, don't worry -- it's on again at 11.
Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter @sweetestpete.